Monday, September 10, 2012
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Morning Quote From the Shack
"Crowded elevators smell different to midgets"
Think I'll start me a bumper sticker company
'sips fresh, hot coffee, puts feet up and gazes upon the morning sun as it peeks over the rolling hills of northern Pennsylvania'.
sometimes it's the little things in life
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Frickin' Amazing Artist
Hard to believe but these pictures were drawn with ballpoint pen...
(click on image to see the mind blowing detail)
for more pictures and proof that I'm not full of crap: Article on Samuel Silvas
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
From the Shack Gallery of Real Heroes...
for anyone who thinks they need to put up with crap from a loudmouth...
for anyone who has taught Jr High...
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Crack for Kids!
I'm about to admit something that I've only told a few people. This is something that I've held back, not out of possible embarrassment or shame but from the fact that it's something that has been difficult to face over the years. Only recently have I come to terms (partially through a solution I've developed) with this sad, sad issue.
So what is it? You ask?
'Cereal Anxiety'
...you see, when I was a kid growing up my mother forbade my sister and I to have sugar or candy.
(Correction, we were allowed to buy chocolate etc one day of the week with out allowance (Sat).)
So with this rule, I've had to endure years of 'healthy' cereal in the mornings. These include classic brands such as Puffed Wheat, Shredded Wheat, Wheatabix and various types of Porridge.
You might say, 'Sheesh, quit f*n whining. That's a good Mother!'
Well you are right. but...
...the aftermath of being oppressed like this has led me to find myself as an adult, pacing up and down the cereal isle in the grocery store for up to 20 min, wrestling with the demons of the past on which cereal to buy.
'WTF?' You say?
Well, ask any guy. When you're a kid, cereal is a BIG DEAL. Especially on weekend mornings with cartoons to watch.
In case you still don't get it, picture this...
It's 7:00am on a Saturday morning, I'm 10 years old, I'm up before everyone else in my batman pajamas. I pour a nice big bowl of puffed wheat topped off with some tasty skim milk.
I carefully bring the bowl into the living room and try not spill milk on the coffee table. I 'click' on the TV just in time for Hilarious House of Frankenstein. I situate myself on the sofa and the world is mine. I own it. No school. Don't have to get dressed yet and two FULL hours of cartoons and cereal.
Life couldn't be more perfect right?
The show cuts to a fucking Frosted Flakes commercial. Tony the Tiger is playing soccer with some kids that are happy as could be, hopped up on his sugar coated ambrosia!
I look down to my puffed wheat and my soul weeps. It's getting soggy by the second.
I jump and run to the kitchen to find ANYTHING sweet to put on it. Jam? None. Brown sugar? Wait! I remember my Mom had some brown sugar for something, I search high and low and nothing. I even climb up and look in the cupboard above the fridge. Nope.
Suddenly, I find something deep in the recesses of a small pantry cupboard, waaaay at the back...
Honey!
Lord, God, Baby Bearded Jesus I find Honey!!!
I race with the honey to the living room and scoop out a large spoonful. I plunge the spoon into the puffed wheat and skim milk and stir.
Now, if you've ever tried this, you'll know that Honey does NOT dissolve in milk. No matter how many centuries or episodes of Scooby Doo you stir it for.
I look at the spoon in dismay and my heart sinks. The honey has turned into a hard mass stuck to the spoon. I turn my gaze to the TV as Captain Crunch sails a ship through an ocean of REAL MILK and AMAZING SUGARY CEREAL! He smiles at me with pure evil in his heart.
I put the glob of honey and spoon in my mouth, 'Fuck you Captain Crunch'
so flash forward...
...to the present where I'm pacing up and down the cereal isle, a devil on one shoulder telling me I'm 'owed the sugar cereal'. 'I can now indulge myself'. 'Go ahead! This is your time!'
On the other shoulder is an angel, telling me 'No! It's unhealthy, full of chemicals and I need to watch what I eat!' 'That crap is crack for kids!'
(I would now deviate into a discussion on fibre, but that's a story for another day)
To wrap this messed up blog post I'll say that I've managed to deal with this condition by compromising and buying 'semi' bad cereal and 'semi' good cereal and combine them
two semi negatives make a semi positive right?
So what is it? You ask?
'Cereal Anxiety'
...you see, when I was a kid growing up my mother forbade my sister and I to have sugar or candy.
(Correction, we were allowed to buy chocolate etc one day of the week with out allowance (Sat).)
So with this rule, I've had to endure years of 'healthy' cereal in the mornings. These include classic brands such as Puffed Wheat, Shredded Wheat, Wheatabix and various types of Porridge.
You might say, 'Sheesh, quit f*n whining. That's a good Mother!'
Well you are right. but...
...the aftermath of being oppressed like this has led me to find myself as an adult, pacing up and down the cereal isle in the grocery store for up to 20 min, wrestling with the demons of the past on which cereal to buy.
'WTF?' You say?
Well, ask any guy. When you're a kid, cereal is a BIG DEAL. Especially on weekend mornings with cartoons to watch.
In case you still don't get it, picture this...
It's 7:00am on a Saturday morning, I'm 10 years old, I'm up before everyone else in my batman pajamas. I pour a nice big bowl of puffed wheat topped off with some tasty skim milk.
I carefully bring the bowl into the living room and try not spill milk on the coffee table. I 'click' on the TV just in time for Hilarious House of Frankenstein. I situate myself on the sofa and the world is mine. I own it. No school. Don't have to get dressed yet and two FULL hours of cartoons and cereal.
Life couldn't be more perfect right?
The show cuts to a fucking Frosted Flakes commercial. Tony the Tiger is playing soccer with some kids that are happy as could be, hopped up on his sugar coated ambrosia!
I look down to my puffed wheat and my soul weeps. It's getting soggy by the second.
I jump and run to the kitchen to find ANYTHING sweet to put on it. Jam? None. Brown sugar? Wait! I remember my Mom had some brown sugar for something, I search high and low and nothing. I even climb up and look in the cupboard above the fridge. Nope.
Suddenly, I find something deep in the recesses of a small pantry cupboard, waaaay at the back...
Honey!
Lord, God, Baby Bearded Jesus I find Honey!!!
I race with the honey to the living room and scoop out a large spoonful. I plunge the spoon into the puffed wheat and skim milk and stir.
Now, if you've ever tried this, you'll know that Honey does NOT dissolve in milk. No matter how many centuries or episodes of Scooby Doo you stir it for.
I look at the spoon in dismay and my heart sinks. The honey has turned into a hard mass stuck to the spoon. I turn my gaze to the TV as Captain Crunch sails a ship through an ocean of REAL MILK and AMAZING SUGARY CEREAL! He smiles at me with pure evil in his heart.
I put the glob of honey and spoon in my mouth, 'Fuck you Captain Crunch'
so flash forward...
...to the present where I'm pacing up and down the cereal isle, a devil on one shoulder telling me I'm 'owed the sugar cereal'. 'I can now indulge myself'. 'Go ahead! This is your time!'
On the other shoulder is an angel, telling me 'No! It's unhealthy, full of chemicals and I need to watch what I eat!' 'That crap is crack for kids!'
(I would now deviate into a discussion on fibre, but that's a story for another day)
To wrap this messed up blog post I'll say that I've managed to deal with this condition by compromising and buying 'semi' bad cereal and 'semi' good cereal and combine them
two semi negatives make a semi positive right?
Friday, August 17, 2012
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Monday, August 13, 2012
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Who really gives a fuck about Charlie Sheen?
So I ask myself when I see the media cover Charlie Sheen's mental breakdown to death and I don't see any info on shit that actually matters. What the hell is wrong with this picture?
what kind of shit am I talking about that matters?
...how bout the fact that there is a floating garbage mass in the pacific ocean that is estimated to be the size from 270,000 sq miles to over 5,000,000 sq miles (based on sampling) or somewhere between the size of Texas to the size of the USA.
The garbage collects though ocean currents called the North Pacific Gyre. The majority is plastic floating and collecting and getting bigger by the day.
The only reason I know about this is through accidental googling. Which leads me to ask, why the hell do I know more about Charlie Sheen than any of this at all?
wanna take a peek under the curtain and see more about what I'm talking about?
...then check out this video
what kind of shit am I talking about that matters?
...how bout the fact that there is a floating garbage mass in the pacific ocean that is estimated to be the size from 270,000 sq miles to over 5,000,000 sq miles (based on sampling) or somewhere between the size of Texas to the size of the USA.
The garbage collects though ocean currents called the North Pacific Gyre. The majority is plastic floating and collecting and getting bigger by the day.
The only reason I know about this is through accidental googling. Which leads me to ask, why the hell do I know more about Charlie Sheen than any of this at all?
wanna take a peek under the curtain and see more about what I'm talking about?
...then check out this video
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Vampire Moth Revisited
Tying up loose ends with the big reveal...
First off, nobody was able to guess the name of this ghastly creature
It is called a 'Dobsonfly'
...found in the Americas, Asia and South Africa - this pic I took was in Pennsylvania. Their larvae are considered to be fantastic bait for fishing
here's some other interesting facts...
"...Though both male and female dobsonflies have sharp mandibles, those of an adult male dobsonfly are actually so big – up to 1 inch (25 mm) – that they are unable to harm humans, as they have such poor leverage that they are incapable of breaking the skin. Their mandibles are used exclusively during mating, where males show them off and grasp the females during copulation. Female dobsonflies, however, retain the short, powerful pincers they had as larvae, so they can inflict painful bites, which can draw blood. Notwithstanding the males' inability to inflict harm, when threatened both sexes will raise their heads and spread their jaws menacingly. They are not venomous, but possess an irritating, foul-smelling anal spray as a last-ditch defense."
a few more pics I had googleized:
larvae -- Yum!
First off, nobody was able to guess the name of this ghastly creature
It is called a 'Dobsonfly'
...found in the Americas, Asia and South Africa - this pic I took was in Pennsylvania. Their larvae are considered to be fantastic bait for fishing
here's some other interesting facts...
"...Though both male and female dobsonflies have sharp mandibles, those of an adult male dobsonfly are actually so big – up to 1 inch (25 mm) – that they are unable to harm humans, as they have such poor leverage that they are incapable of breaking the skin. Their mandibles are used exclusively during mating, where males show them off and grasp the females during copulation. Female dobsonflies, however, retain the short, powerful pincers they had as larvae, so they can inflict painful bites, which can draw blood. Notwithstanding the males' inability to inflict harm, when threatened both sexes will raise their heads and spread their jaws menacingly. They are not venomous, but possess an irritating, foul-smelling anal spray as a last-ditch defense."
a few more pics I had googleized:
larvae -- Yum!
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